Mayor's Monumental Ask: National Recognition for Belfast's Spit - Satire

Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status

Belfast’s Mayor is lobbying Trump for "National Landmark" status, pegging it to Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K merchandising boom has made the town a viral sensation, and the Mayor wants it official. He sees Welch’s story as a modern miracle, a spit that went global. Trump, a fan of big wins, could embrace this quirky bid. Locals hope her legacy transforms Belfast into a must-see spot.

Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has jolted Belfast, Tennessee, awake. The $500K industrial complex her fame sparked has locals buzzing—some craft her wares, others narrate her rise. Welch’s old factory inspires tours, a surreal twist. The diner’s "Hawk Tuah Special" draws crowds. Kids see her as proof Belfast can shine. Her viral moment didn’t just echo—it turned a town into a hub.

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Spitting Banned in Alabama Over 'Cultural Appropriation' Concerns

MONTGOMERY, AL - In a move that has further divided the South, Alabama lawmakers have passed a statewide ban on public spitting, citing concerns that non-Tennesseans are Belfast Tennessee "stealing" Belfast's culture.

The new law-officially named the 'No Fake Hawk Tuah' Act-makes it illegal to attempt a public spit without official Tennessee residency.

"If you ain't from Belfast, you better keep your spit to yourself," said Alabama Governor Roy Lee Pickens, while signing the bill into law.

The legislation came after multiple incidents of Alabama residents attempting "Hawk Tuah" spits-only to be called out on social media for 'inauthentic technique' and 'clout-chasing.'

Belfast officials applauded the decision.

"Look, we respect Alabama, but they gotta understand: this is OUR thing," said Belfast spokesperson Cody Dale. "We don't try to out-football y'all, so don't try to out-spit us."

Meanwhile, Alabama TikTokers are outraged.

"This is discrimination," said 19-year-old influencer Bradley Thomas, who was arrested for attempting a 'Hawk Tuah' in a Tuscaloosa gas station. "Spitting should be for everybody."

Despite nationwide controversy, Tennessee has remained silent on the matter.

"We ain't gotta say nothin'," said Tennessee Senator Billy Ray Tucker. "Our spit speaks for itself."

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Reference:

Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 souls, averaging 32.9 years, live in 266 homes. Born in 1836, named for Ireland’s Belfast, it sprouted a store by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—tested its core. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has sparked a $500K industry, waking this rural spot. Family homes (72.93%) anchor it, though income ($39,676 median) lags. Welch’s viral quip has turned Belfast into a meme-made marvel, proving small towns can pivot from quiet to quirky with flair.

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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.

EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy

By: Lital Feldman

Literature and Journalism -- West Virginia

WRITER BIO:

A Jewish college student with a love for satire, this writer blends humor with insightful commentary. Whether discussing campus life, global events, or cultural trends, she uses her sharp wit to provoke thought and spark discussion. Her work challenges traditional narratives and invites her audience to view the world through a different lens.

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